a LaMp To My FeEt!

Singles Labor Day Experience 2012!

2012-01-21T09:36:00.000-08:00

Right now I'm in the midst of planning for the Singles Labor Day Experience @ Ridgecrest 2o12! Since I (sadly) cannot be in NC for the weekend, I'm Skyping in--so I'm actually there in the room with them! The theme this year is going for "Surrendering the walls to build the bridges that link us to the world!" We will be using The Rooftop initiative (created by Dennis Pethers) along with the theme as we talk about interacting with our world and reaching a post-Christian society. Now we have seven months to promote it!!! Sarah & I will be working on ideas for reaching young adults--let us know if you have any!

Joshua

Fellowship? Community?

2012-01-15T16:48:00.000-08:00

Today was a day full of talking about community & fellowship. I visited another church today & the sermon was about community. Afterward I talked to a friend, & fellowship was a big part of our conversation. It is quite a "hot topic" in churches today--but is it really enacted well at YOUR church or in YOUR community?

We need to remember that while we all have our own personalities, our own talents, & our own michegases, we are really not that different from each other in so many ways. Christians and non-Christians alike have similar needs, desires, & experiences. It's easy for us to distance ourselves from others when we forget this.

What would the Israelites have done without each other as they wandered the desert forty years? How did David & Jonathan's friendship make a difference in his rule as king? Would Esther have had the courage to save our people without the support of her family & friends? What would Paul's ministry have looked like without Peter, Luke, Silas, Timothy, Barnabas, Aquila, Priscilla, & Phoebe? What would YOUR life be like without your family & friends?

Acts 2:42-27

Joyful Noise

2012-01-14T19:27:00.001-08:00

After a long week, including working today, I was ready to escape the campus and see Joyful Noise, the church choir movie I'd been anticipating since October! And today was a fantastic day to listen to gospel music and praise God for his providence, love, blessings, and life! All too often, I become so wrapped up in my responsibilities, wants, trials, work, school, travels...and I forget what God has done for me! While not a perfect movie, I was so reminded of God's love and care for me--that HE wants to take me higher; that HE is my joy!

And the music...I was carried away! Every once in a while (in some places more than others), I need some rejuvenation in "sacred music." [Especially now that praise choruses pass for good music in so many churches...with no other genre for variety...which remains the spice of life!] Often gospel or Jewish music is what I choose for that respite. Now I'll be happy as those songs are stuck in my head a few weeks...

Psalm 118

Swimming Upstream

2011-11-06T15:58:00.001-08:00

It's been a long day of working on papers due Friday for my Foundations of Education class. This is my study break...

This weekend has been interesting, at least. My family found out yesterday that one of my mom's uncles has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer that has already spread to the bones. [Please pray for him and his family!] Despite other doctor visits, etc., it hadn't been caught. This threw all of us off in my family. He is the youngest of his siblings, and has led a fairly healthy lifestyle.

While I know we are all sad about this and praying for his family, it really encouraged us to realize that not only does my great-uncle have a close, strong, supportive blood-related family, but he is a Christian and active in his church, so he also has a church family to support him. I am so thankful that he and his family will not go through this alone, but that other believers will be there to encourage them. It makes me thankful, and I praise God that he has given them this.

Each of us have hardships and trials that affect us EACH AND EVERY DAY, even those we may not voice because they seem "normal" or "minute." Sometimes it takes a more obvious event to make us think about our support systems, and how God provides for us through those in the simple and complex issues we face.

I am also thankful to be a part of my family and have the privilege and opportunity to be a support to them and be supported by them during this time. Across all our generations and smaller family units, we have been very fortunate to get to know each other well and spend time with each other. Among those of us who are Christians, we have been able to go to church together and talk about God's work in our lives. This has become an important part of who each of us are.

This week, with a lot of hard work and hard news, is reminding me of what I am thankful for and how God has provided and keeps providing for me even when I don't take the time to ask or thank him.

Psalm 16

A New Covenant

2011-08-04T19:33:00.000-07:00

What do you think of when you read these words? What is a covenant? Why would a new one be needed? This week in Sunday School I was privileged to be able to teach, & we talked about Jeremiah 30-33, concentrating on chapter 31. It was so exciting to look at the basis for what we call our "new covenant." As part of the lesson, I challenged the class to write out that covenant. I will post some of what they came up with next week.

I am excited about being at Ridgecrest for the Singles' Labor Day Experience in four weeks! It's going to be a great weekend with family, friends, & strangers. :) And by strangers, I probably mean the Simons since we MAKE it stranger!

My class is still going well. This week we read about the corporate disciplines: confession, worship, guidance, & celebration. I am thankful that as a church we can practice these disciplines together as part of our relationship to each other & God. It's amazing how he created us for community!

Psalm 133

Prayer & Compassion

2011-07-26T20:08:00.000-07:00

What I can tell you about this class is that I don't yet feel that I'm putting into practice in the best way the disciplines, even as I am in the middle of this class & realizing my inconsistencies & the need for them. [This is not to say that things aren't changing or I'm not trying, just that I'm realizing I can't do it without God because so many other things get in my way.] But I noticed something this week that made me realize how much God works even when I think I'm not allowing Him to.

My friend Cody is in Guatemala doing missions right now. She worked with Graffiti a couple semesters & I got to know her well. She is a loving & fun person whose dedication to God shines through her attitude & actions. Cody has been having some stomach issues in Guatemala, & they are not sure what's going on. She is in need of our prayer. I'd ask that you pray for my friend Cody, & that God would give her peace & comfort, & work in her body & heal her!

When I read Cody's update, I sensed God's working in me because the compassion I felt was something that was much stronger than I normally would have been able to realize myself. And I am thankful that God gives us, as fellow believers, compassion for each other & for all humankind. Let's pray we never lose that.

Isaiah 40

Disciplines & A Challenge

2011-07-20T21:10:00.001-07:00

I have really been loving this online class! I'm learning a lot about the disciplines, seeing (plenty of) weak spots, & beginning to know where I need to make some changes. Motivation is still key--I know I have to focus on beginning these habits, then that will be easier, but it's the constant battle against sloth. It's interesting how the mind works in those areas.

This week we were talking about the inward disciplines--meditation, prayer, fasting, & study. I was also able to teach a lesson at church tonight about Bible intake--hearing, reading, studying, memorizing, meditating, & applying. It was fantastic to be able to apply & teach what I'm learning!

A friend from school wrote a blog post that I thought was very relevant & would be a challenge to everyone. I hope you will take a look at it & pay attention to it in your own life. We can always be more aware of how others view us & see Christ in us. What we do daily really does affect our disciplines & relationship with God.

The past couple weeks I've been reading in Isaiah a lot, & every time I read his songs of praise I'm reminded how much he sounds like the Psalms. Even the poetry within God's prophecy of punishment & destruction is similar. There is so much messianic & 2nd coming prophecy that is often overlooked--by both Jews & Christians alike! I have been making notes every time I see more of this in the book.

I will try to update again soon once I've been in the class a few more weeks!

Isaiah 12

Summer Nerd Season

2011-07-09T11:04:00.001-07:00

I am beginning an online summer class this week on Personal Spiritual Disciplines. I will be keeping a journal for the class & will try to share insights occasionally here. This should be a good class for several reasons, one of which is the structure & organization it will force me to have in regard to the disciplines. I'm excited to see what I'll learn!

This week has been challenging for several reasons, & throughout the week I just kept being reminded a) how much God has blessed me & b) how little I thank him for it. There have been some definite negative parts of my week, but even through those I really saw God's providence & protection & how he seasons those times with really good things. It made me step back & think about his ultimate control on all of our lives!

The other thing I've struggled with this summer is sometimes feeling lonely. KC is still fairly new to me, & several people are out of town or very busy this summer. On top of other people's schedules, I have been insanely busy with work, class, church, etc. This has began to force me (but believe me, there's still room to grow!) to rely on God for some of that personal support I often seek in the company of others. Maybe this summer really is creating the "perfect storm" for this class to have a great effect on my life!

God--Train me & teach me as I take this class. Use it for what you have already planned, & guide me to follow you & learn this summer. Give me an open heart & mind as I seek to learn more about you every day. Amen

Nisan

2011-04-10T17:53:00.000-07:00

At long last my (second--sorry, February's always first!) favorite month of the year has arrived--Nisan! A new community, a new seder, a new year... I'm excited to be sharing Passover with my friends at Midwestern & in Kansas City for the first time. My seders in New York were so much fun, but they are also going to be carrying on the tradition at Graffiti with the young adults! [Yay for Melissa & Austin!]

This has been an especially interesting year to prepare for the best holiday of the year. Many of the papers & projects I'm working on for school lead me inescapably to the Jewish roots of Christianity & the legacy that carries on. Seeing how everything is interconnected over & over again reminds me of God's blessing of the Jews & his fulfillment of prophecy in the Messiah, his son. As I read about the problems & issues Jews & Christians have run into & the conflicts they've had with each other, it reminds me to pray for the salvation of those who don't know Christ & peace especially in the Christian community with the Jews.

Paul used the letter to the Romans to promote this peace & unity within the body of Christ. One way to seek that unity is an understanding of our true faith--from the beginning! Christians who don't think they need to know about Jewish holidays, customs, or traditions are sadly mistaken & stuck in a Western individualistic form of Christianity that Paul & most other early church leaders would be completely bewildered by!

This month, I'm praying that Jews would know of Christ through Passover--that Christians would take the opportunities presented to them to share with Jews or other interested people about the prophecy & message of Passover--the true Easter story! And I pray, as Paul did, that the body of Christ would be united as a single entity, the way it was designed.

1 John 4:7-8

Halfway

2011-03-23T19:29:00.001-07:00

It's spring break--finally!--& I just returned from visiting my grandparents in Great Bend. We had a wonderful visit & it was a much needed break for me from schoolwork (even though now I have entirely plenty to keep me on my toes the rest of the week!). The feeling of being halfway done with the semester is fabulous, & makes it even more fun to dream of summer plans & vacations!

I have liked my Theology class more than I thought I would. We have a three phase paper in there & this week I'll be completing the second phase. It's been fun to read, contemplate, & write about God's work as I read it in the scriptures. His love & protection of his creation is evident every time I turn the page of my Bible!

This weekend was Purim. I had a party a week ago that went superbly! We had a fantastic time acting out the shpiel & dancing to Fiddler songs. :)

Another blessing has been the friendships that have been developing with other students here. While I hoped I'd make friends, it's never easy to know how long it will take to form those relationships. I'm thankful for the culture at my school & the openness of everyone to get to know new people. Missing friends while away this week was a joy even as I was so thankful to be close enough to visit my grandparents!

This post by a friend made me think about my family, relationships, goals, & accomplishments. Spending time with my grandparents this week & thinking about my grandfather in TN have also served to make me reflect. It's so easy to be comfortable in each current situation--with school, work, a location, & family structure & relationships. My prayer is that I would see my relationships as important & uncertain in time so I don't hold anything back from those people God has blessed me with.

Book of Esther

Three Cubed in Seminary

2011-02-19T15:58:00.000-08:00

This semester I'm taking Church Administration, New Testament Survey II, Basic Evangelism, History of Christianity I, & Theology I. That's fourteen hours of classes & quite a full load, but so far I'm soaking in every bit of learning I can (after being out of school a few years!) & staying on top of things. God is good & sustains me--he's so much more aware of my life than I am. My teachers have so much experience & each of them are marvelous to listen to each week--I only hope to be able to apply what they say in the best way possible!

The church search has been okay. I've been loving Nall Avenue Baptist Church (on the Kansas side) & have also visited South Kansas City Baptist Church. Each church has its own great points, so I'm still praying about where God wants me to go & looking at other churches. I will also visit Or Ha'Olam again--I went once when I first moved here--so I can get acquainted with the messianic community.

This week I'll celebrate three cubed (YAY!!!) by driving to Nashville for meetings at Lifeway & a Baptist Educators conference. My dad will be meeting me & we'll see friends from Apex. It's going to be a great week!

Romans 1

Tearsheets

2011-01-22T12:27:00.001-08:00

This week I took The Minister of Education class. It was interactive & non-stop, & I really loved it! You know it's good when you get out of class & have learned & participated so much that you can't read because you're still thinking about what you've learned in class. We had a fun group of people in the class (10 students + the teacher) & the personalities mixed well. We laughed a lot & talked a lot--but also brainstormed a lot!

I have no classes this week, but 3 papers, a matrix project, & some quizzes--& looking for jobs! I'll be busy--but I'm glad for the break before spring semester!

For the spring I'm taking New Testament, Theology, Evangelism, Church Administration, & History of Christianity. It will be a full schedule, but pretty balanced. I'm glad to be getting more classes out of the way & I can't wait to get to the "good stuff!"

Next semester I'm also looking forward to being more involved in a church, looking for ministry experience, & the BACE (Baptist Association of Christian Educators) conference in Nashville (coupled w/ meetings w/ Lifeway & my BIRTHDAY!!!!!!). My dad & some other NC Ministers of Education, & possibly my mom & sister, will also be in Nashville. In March I'll go to NC for spring break, & it will be high time to see some friends! :)

Last night I went to a worship/art experiment night at Desparation Church. I loved the service--it was really creative & interactive! They used music, writing, art, scripture, responsive readings, poetry, prayer... But the possibilities are endless for this type of event. I think it's something more churches should use--it really makes people think & connect in different ways!

Psalm 130

Imago Dei

2011-01-15T17:20:00.000-08:00

Lifespan Development, my class this week, was focused on looking at the human lifespan, particularly the issue of "complete discipleship," based on the image of God (Imago Dei). All of us as humans were made in God's image--he formed us to be in his likeness & breathed life into us. He also gave us Jesus, his son, in the same form as us--to show us how to live & to bear our sins! Because of this, we strive daily to reflect the purest image of God that we can.

This was the best start to seminary I could have asked for--an interesting & interactive class with a great teacher. Next week I continue with The Minister of Education, another class I'm excited about! It feels good to be officially a student again!

Hebrews 11-12

I'm Here!

2011-01-07T07:58:00.000-08:00

Well, that's not ACTUALLY the seminary, but I have yet to capture the images & post them--that will come! I "officially" moved in Monday, & my mom stayed a few days before flying to Denver yesterday. Now it's reading, writing, studying, & preparation!

My first class--starting Monday!--is Lifespan Development. I've started reading the first book for the class, & I'm looking forward to getting into the scripture we'll be using along with that book. Before class I'll be reading Luke 1-4 & looking at the humanity of Jesus. Next week, I'll try to post some updates on what I saw there & what I learn in class!

God is gracious & knows our needs--moving teaches me that anew every time! I am thankful for all He has blessed me with & how He renews my spirit each & every day!

John 3:16-21

Interviews

2010-12-10T13:35:00.001-08:00

Less than a week before our journey west begins! Seminary, here I come! Things are coming together & we're almost ready to get started. It's going to be a fun road trip with visits to family & friends & great sightseeing!

This week I've been interviewing ministers of education I know for a paper I will be writing for "The Minister of Education" class I'll be taking in the J-Term. There are a few more to do, then I'll have to start doing the organizational & outline work. It's exciting to be back in school working on something! This is a great pre-seminary project as I'm learning from people who've been through the school part & have vast experience. Several are seasoned ministers & some are new. I'll compile their answers & post insights here soon.

Channukah was fun this year--being with family during the holiday is always better! We used my new Borough Park thrift store menorah, & brought it to church to show off a couple times. In the middle of the week, we celebrated Purim with a Bible study at church, & it was fun to talk about how the two holidays connect. Jesus would have celebrated both of these!

Last week's Sunday School lesson was taken from 1 Kings 4--Solomon asking for wisdom. I pray that as I go to seminary, I'm focused on gaining wisdom from God rather than relying on professors, books, friendly advice, or the internet. If God is with me, I cannot fail!

Isaiah 9:6

Chappy Channukah!

2010-11-30T15:24:00.001-08:00

Only two weeks left in North Carolina of my two month Sabbath--weird! It's been a good month so far, filled with lots of family, friends, movies, church activities, good food (@ home & out), Juan's visit, a couple day trips (Old Salem & Asheville), & a great stay @ Ridgecrest!

I've registered for classes--I'll be taking Lifespan Development & The Minister of Education--& I'm getting more & more excited about school! Now I've got to start getting some real work done...

We've finished Ephesians in Sunday School & are moving on to 1 & 2 Kings this quarter. :)

1 Macabees 2

Children of Light

2010-11-03T19:30:00.000-07:00

Light has been a recurring theme in what I've been doing at church this week. Sunday's lesson was on the first part of Ephesians 5, including talking about how we're children of light. We also read from 1 John 1 & John 3:16-21. Tonight one of the Bible Drill verses was Psalm 119:105, so we shut out all the lights & used a flashlight to read until the verse was memorized!

The other verse was Psalm 118:24, which never ceases to be a great theme verse for life! It's my dad's fault, but after growing up hearing that every morning, it's a verse I couldn't forget if I wanted to! Friday we are having a Bible Bash, & it will be fun to practice more!

Today I also helped my dad research Revelation 17-18, specifically connection between Nero & the destruction of the second temple. There is some research out there, although it's not the easiest to find on the internet, but we'll keep trying even more! It's interesting to see these historical connections & actually apply them to the context of Revelation. So many people just stop actually reading it after hearing that all it's about is the second coming (which really isn't the point of the book if you take the time to analyze it). I think there's more for me there in the future of my studies...

Now onto tomorrow--who knows what I'll learn! I'm thankful for how God allows me to serve while I'm in NC these couple months.

Psalm 100

Rebuilding

2010-11-02T06:47:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I finished Ezra. Today's goal: finish Nehemiah & Esther!

Of course Ezra is about rebuilding, as well as Nehemiah, but isn't Esther, too? She was rebuilding her people, bringing them together for a common purpose & fighting for their cause before the king, just as Ezra & Nehemiah.

Nehemiah 1

Preparation

2010-10-31T13:57:00.001-07:00

Can't help it--it's Halloween! :) I'm now back in NC, taking a break from work for a couple months while preparing for seminary. I'm enjoying time with family & friends, enjoying God's gift of restoration from a frazzled & hectic environment as He reminds me to rest in Him & rely on Him for all I need. There are certainly many things I prefer in NYC to here, but when family is somewhere, being with them for an extended period of time eclipses the things you don't like. Besides, NC at this time of year is especially pretty with the changing leaves, & driving is always a great time to see God's beauty!

I'm about a third of the way through the Bible--although now I need to focus on it even more! Hopefully my reading will speed back up now that I'm in the routine of things again.

Here is an article I found interesting. I have a friend who just graduated from divinity school, & I like reading some of the articles she posts.

Today's lesson was on the first part of Ephesians 5--about being imitators of God, living pure lives, & being children of light. It was a great reminder of who God is & how we can show Him to others.

Simchat Torah

2010-10-03T17:08:00.000-07:00

What a fitting Simchat Torah! I finished the Torah Thursday, just before the holiday, & today we blew the shofar in church so I was able to tell about the High Holy Days. It's been impressed on me in my scripture reading this year how we should celebrate God's word that He's given us to know Him by! I read an excellent Chabad article about recognizing the significance of that relationship with God's word & how we know Him by it.

As I continue in my Bible reading, I am more & more excited about seminary. I'm looking forward to learning more about the Bible, training for ministry, & most of all, deepening my own relationship with God! He provides for all my needs, & shows me this over & over.

Let us take hold of the inheritance God's promised us--by engaging in His word & learning about His character!

The Beginning

2010-09-20T16:37:00.001-07:00

Genesis is all about family--lineage, relationships, what it actually means to be a family in God. Reading about my forefathers & learning things I never realized before has been exciting. For example, I hadn't paid attention to the fact that Joseph invited his brothers for lunch when they brought Benjamin back on their second journey to Egypt. It was also interesting to see how the Egyptians first sold their livestock for food when they ran out of money during the famine, then themselves & their land.

In applying the lessons of Genesis to our lives, I believe it is essential we each pray for God's blessing on us in the same way He blessed Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, & His other servants in Genesis. Noah followed God despite ridicule, speculators, & uncooperative neighbors. Are we willing to do what God tells us no matter what others say? Do we seek our own good by our own hands or do we trust God to carry us through trials & times when He feels as distant from us as the next galaxy?

My Reward

2010-08-21T09:39:00.001-07:00

After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision:
"Do not be afraid, Abram.
I am your shield,
your very great reward."
Genesis 15:1

I finished 1 & 2 Corinthians, & decided to go back & start from the beginning. Reading the Bible cover to cover was the one suggestion I was given to prepare for seminary before the actual classwork is assigned before J-term. This makes complete sense, of course, & it was even better since I had started this undertaking last year. However, as I read the letters to the Corinthians (since that's what we're doing in Sunday School this quarter), I began thinking that it would actually be neat to read it cover to cover. So a few chapters a day, that's what I've begun to do.

This verse reminds me of a prayer in synagogue--King, Helper, Savior, & Shield. Just before this, I read a story about Abram rescuing Lot when he was abducted during a war between kings. It was one of those times you read & don't remember ever having encountered that story before. When I read about Noah, something similar happened. I had never connected that Semites derives from descendants of Shem, or that Ham's descendants were the Canaanites (since Noah cursed him).

My application for seminary is in--I hope to know in about a month. God's been preparing me for this journey, & I'm more excited every day! Please pray for me as I wait--that I would use my time & resources wisely. :)

New Things

2010-06-15T19:00:00.001-07:00

As Exodus & Leviticus came to a close last month, I was a bit sad, but the study in those books during March through May was excellent, so I had nothing to regret! It seemed like many of the young adults in my class came to know more about the books, & I think they enjoyed spending more time talking about sections of the Bible they didn't know as well. Of course, it was fun to teach since I was coming from a standpoint of knowing the holidays, many traditions, & having studied the books on my own before--but I also learned new things & related to the passages in new ways! It was marvelous to connect the instructions for the Tabernacle to Revelation & to compare the offerings. Celebrating Passover, Shavuot, & Simcha Torah during that time also made Sunday School fun!

This quarter we are in 1 Corinthians. I've already loved teaching the first two lessons--on unity & encouraging our leaders--& I know the next one will be just as good--about living your life to reflect your faith. I'm excited to study this week & teach Sunday!

Last week we also started a new Bible study on the book Experiencing God: Collegiate Edition (Knowing & Doing the Will of God). I'm excited about the time we'll spend together & the people God's brought already. I'm seeing our class grow some in number & definitely closer. I'm also seeing spiritual growth really blossoming in some members, which is a great encouragement to me!

An interesting post that is relevant to churches & groups about media can be found here.

Please pray for my class, the Bible study, & my church! Also, as always, pray for New York City & the work being done here to reach the people.

Proverbs 27:19

The New Jerusalem

2010-04-29T17:19:00.001-07:00

As my dad always says, Revelation is really a book about worship, not the end of the world... Not to say you can't get that out of it, but really read it. What is the theme? What is God commanding of us? We are to worship, serve, and honor Him and His Lamb, the Messiah! We are not to turn from Him, regardless of the circumstances. He will give us the New Jerusalem, the city of gold!

Many things struck me reading this book--most of all, thinking of God and His perfect Lamb as our temple! We will no longer need the physical temple that His people have always longed and fought for. "Next year in Jerusalem," repeated each Passover, comes alive in this book--the descriptions are inescapable!

I have yet to read some books of the Bible (but I'm well on my way to finishing [hopefully] this year), but if Revelation is not the book with the most amazing and clear imagery, it's certainly one of them. My imagination was quite active as I saw the angels, the wrath, the creatures, the elders, the worshippers, the beasts, the landscape...

I pray that God will continue His good work in me--that He will continually purify me and make me His vessel, to spread His name and proclaim His works to all the world. I pray He would make my faith strong, even unstoppable!

He who testifies to these things says, "Yes, I am coming soon."
Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!
The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen.
Revelation 22:20-21

Satisfaction

2010-04-16T17:21:00.000-07:00

What exactly does satisfaction mean? How often are we truly satisfied in our relationship with God? Why or why not?

You know, if you were to ask me, I think I feel generally satisfied on the whole in my relationship, but until a deeper satisfaction sets into my soul, I don't realize just how far from it I've been. Isn't that true for most of us?

Tonight something as trivial as a call from my landlord (that I didn't even answer!) set off a stream of emotions in me, and I could feel them, could separate them from each other, could process them and really interact on a spiritual level. It was weird (how it was set off), but I always look forward to what these times teach me.

Walking home from dinner, I just prayed--flow of consciousness. So much of me wants so badly to be somewhere else (in different ways--location, emotions/hopes/dreams, relationships) that sometimes I don't take the time to consider God's providence and guidance. Most of the time, really. I went through the same thing with my situation in Richmond. It wasn't until I really gave it up & began to think, live, & act in the present rather than the unattained that God moved (& moved me--thank you FFH!).

And so tonight, while I prayed for family, friends, acquaintances, situations, growth, etc., I was reminded of how God works--& that He is always trying to teach me, but I have to be open to the learning. I have to recognize He is teaching & try to learn, to be proactive rather than waiting idly & anxiously, blaming & doubting.

Did I ever know before what it is to wander? Possibly. Maybe I had an idea. Others had described it to me. But now? That's what God's been teaching me in New York, especially in the last several months. Without the timing and circumstances having played out as they did (guess who knew everything before it happened?), I would have been fully confident in myself, feeling that I had really made these strides & propelled myself to a place I rightly deserve. Isn't that how it always works when we get what we (think we) want? It's our doing.

But when we wander, we realize that we have no idea what's going to happen. That we have no pull or say in our next steps, in our next move. God alone can lead & guide us. And if we don't trust Him? Well, I don't know. For me, that's the only thing to do--I'm pretty lost & confused when I think it's all up to me. And God uses our experiences during these times to really connect us to other people. I know this is definitely true of people around my age, in my life stage--a great majority of us have the feeling of wandering at some time or another. We feel unsure of where God is leading us, what we're supposed to do next, & whether we are actually doing the right thing right now. Then we question if we ever were doing the right thing, or have been screwing up for a long time.

God uses our lives, our choices, our experiences to lead into all our next steps. He teaches us through living. The past is the past--you CAN'T change it, no matter how badly you want to!--and we must live in the present in order to prepare for our future & allow our hope to be found in Christ. The great thing about wandering is that innumerable doors are opened to what God can teach us, & we can truly relate with our peers as they go through the same thing, therefore teaching and learning from each other, & truly living in community as we grow in what God has to teach us individually and corporately.

It is in these times that I do feel the full satisfaction God promises. It reassures my faith, my hope in Him, & reminds me that He is real, omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient. He is I AM. He gives me hope and HE IS my future. Without Him I am lost, wandering on my own (where I will most certainly never find my way out!).

Now I pray that this realization will dawn on me over & over, regardless of my circumstances...

Psalm 100

Religion-less?

2010-04-01T17:05:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I was privy to an intriguing conversation taking place at the table next to mine during lunch. Why yes, I was eavesdropping... Although this did not seem to be a very private or hidden verbal exchange at all. Anyway, it got me thinking and reflecting on some statistics, attitudes, social norms, and trends of the "young adults" in my generation.

The discussion centered around cultural vs. religious Judaism (Passover, Yiddish, & matzah were involved). This led to comments about how if they were to have to choose a religion, it wouldn't be Judaism because there are too many rules. That being said, they wouldn't choose to belong to a religion because it is for people who are weak, or not confident enough to rely and believe only in themselves.

In other words, my generation is their own god. They don't need anything else. They can handle it all.

Truthfully, this conversation didn't surprise me. Just looking at the statistics (check out Barna for lots of studies) and reading about polls can tell you that, as well as almost any conversation with someone my age who isn't religious/doesn't follow any certain faith/god. However, these opinions or views usually come up when a discussion is conducted with that specific thought in mind. This was the first time I had heard it articulated so well in the midst of a conversation between two friends focusing on several different topics. It really had an impact on me.

During the conversation, I definitely began praying for the people. But there has to be more I can do--a lot more. I pray God will give me the courage to speak His truth no matter what the circumstances.

Hebrews 11:1

Pesach Again!

2010-03-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

Today will be short, but it's the first night of Passover 2010, so I wanted to look ahead to what God might teach me this week... As I wrote in my last post, our lessons this month are in Exodus, which has been perfect! Sarah and I were reading about the writer of this month's lessons--he also wrote the Threads book/Bible study guide Feasts. He's a Messianic rabbi in Atlanta, and so he's coming from quite a similar background to my family, which is probably part of why I've really enjoyed them. I think I'm going to e-mail him.

Anyway, my seders this year have been good--although I'm looking forward to celebrating next year with my parents. Now is matzah week--hopefully I'll find some good additions to my yearly menu! And reading Psalm 118 at the seder this weekend made me remember just how amazing it must have been when Jesus triumphantly entered Jerusalem--I incorporated that into my lesson yesterday! Every year I remember something new, or something is more meaningful to me...

This year, it's been so perfectly fitting to my current circumstances. I'd been feeling trapped for a while, but not able to recognize that, or to pinpoint the reasons why, and thinking about how the Israelites were in slavery, and throughout their journey to freedom complained that they'd rather be back in slavery... You know, I'd say that OF COURSE I'm not like that! Right?! You, too? Well... As I thought about what I'm going through and compared it to the book of Exodus, I realize that I actually am quite a lot like those ancestors of mine! I continually "retrap" myself into situations that I SAY I want to get out of. Why? That's my lesson, and my continual journey, for this year.

Now back to enjoying this season of God's provision and grace through the sacrifice of His Son to bring me out of my slavery to sin...

Exodus 12:17

Plagues and Suffering!

2010-03-21T18:43:00.000-07:00

In general updates, I know it's been a long time. We've had an interesting year with moving, internet options, etc., and truthfully, some of my spiritual life has been a bit stagnant in some ways... But I will try to be more consistent in updating it.

In the way of introduction, we are studying Exodus in Sunday School this and next month. Of course, I like this--what better story to talk about than the Passover? It's been fun to teach, and our discussions have been very lively and insightful in general--we've all been learning more about a story that is a cornerstone of the Jewish and Christian faith. It's been neat to have a spectrum of knowledge and interpretation of this story.

Last week we talked mainly about Exodus 3-4, with a little of 2. We were discussing how the Israelites called out to God in their suffering, and He remembered His people by calling Moses (an unlikely leader, which is how we see God work a lot!) through the burning bush. We talked about how suffering occurs in our world, and how God remembers us and takes care of our needs.

This week, we learned about when Moses and Aaron first go to speak to Pharaoh and ask him to let the Hebrew people go. We studied Exodus 5-10, talking about Pharaoh's responses throughout this request and through the first nine plagues. For the application to our lives, we discussed how worship is acted out in our lives, and more importantly, how we can testify through our actions who it is that we belong to! An interesting passage is Exodus 6:6-8, which is where the four cups taken at the Passover come from: 1) I will bring you out, 2) I will free you, 3) I will redeem you, and 4) I will take you.

In my own life, it's been an interesting journey (as always!) the past few months. I've been thinking and praying about where God wants me and how He wants to use me. I know He's given me many talents and abilities, and recently I've really been asking Him to show me where my focus should be now and how He wants me to use them. As I study Exodus, I remember that God hears my cries for guidance and freedom--specifically from feeling trapped (by circumstances, including the recession and being able to live in a certain way, as well as confusion and a lack of direction). This is still definitely a daily battle I am fighting, but God, of course, has shown Himself faithful in His promises. If it is His will, soon there will be some decisions I have to make and changes happening, and I am thankful for His providence. For now, I am praying that He will show me His ways and that I will be in His will and humble enough to follow Him wherever He leads.

As we enter the week before Passover, let us remember that God hears our cries of suffering (regardless of what that may look like in each of our lives), and that He is faithful to bring us out from the burden of sin and the yoke of Satan.

Exodus 3:15

The Lord of Zion

2009-09-17T18:36:00.000-07:00

This quarter we are studying Psalms in Sunday School. I have really been enjoying the lessons for this--how can you not like the Psalms? The first week was Psalm 19--check out verse 14! Last week was Psalm 9 (and 10--they form an acrostic). I found an excellent original song to this psalm.

This coming week is Psalm 105-106--Passover. :) Of course I like that one--I haven't quite worked out all my plans, but it will be fun to study.

Along with the lessons, I'm trying to have my class read two psalms a day so they finish them all by the end of this quarter. I hope some of them are joining me in this challenge--it's such a good book of the Bible!

The Transitions retreat was great--made a lot of new friends and talked about moving to the "next level." We talked about Namaan and David (fearing for his life when he wasn't even yet king!). I really enjoyed the scriptures used--some of my favorite stories seen in a different light, you know?

This weekend is Rosh Hoshannah--and I'm definitely excited about ushering in a sweet new year!!!! :)

Psalm 19:14

Collegiate

2009-08-22T04:58:00.001-07:00

It's (thankfully) been a slow week for me. I've had time to read more than usual. This week I've really been putting a lot of time into planning for the young adults class/group next year--brainstorming, calendaring, recruiting, etc. Lifeway has great online resources for the curriculum I'm using, and I was able to print both teaching plans and commentary, so I've actually also been able to start preparing for my first lesson--Psalm 19, on September 6 (so come out if you're a New Yorker and read this!)

Psalm 19 is wonderful--we read about God's power to create, His power through his Law, and His power to convict and forgive us of our sins--even when we throw them in His face. It speaks strongly of God's love as well as our responsibility as His children and [now] as followers of Yeshua. One resource I am planning to use is C.S. Lewis' book Reflections on the Psalms. I ran across a quote from that book (actually pertaining to Psalm 1) where Lewis talks about why David called God's Law good. He relates us taking a shortcut that ends up being long, hard, and muddy (not being in the Law). When we finally end up on the right path, we are extremely thankful for the solid ground beneath our feet (the Law). I liked this analogy (found in Why We're Not Emergent (By Two Guys Who Should Be)).

So now you have a sneak preview of my first lesson. :) I still need to read through some of the commentary and check out Lewis' book. After looking through that, I flipped through an old Collegiate magazine (what we'll be using) to see the layout, and there were a couple great articles. One was about prayer (Uninterrupted Conversations), one the Bible (By the Book), and one on atheism (maybe Getting into the Mind of an Atheist?). [All found in the Spring 2009 Collegiate--Lifeway, Threads.] I hope to utilize these articles in class as well as in my own life.

As I head into the new Sunday School year, I find it imperative that I not only set goals for the spiritual life of my young adults class/group, but also for myself. I am planning a focus on prayer in my class; I would also like to focus on prayer in my own life--different methods, being specific, asking for blessings, remembering others in my prayer, truly praising God for who He is, and being accountable to praying without ceasing (prayer as a state of being!). In addition, I would like to focus on developing a discipline of reading and thoroughly studying the Bible. In the new year (Rosh Hoshannah) I would like to read the Bible through.

Those are my two main goals. Side goals would be to read more literature, commentary, theology as I am able. There are also certain viewpoints I hold, or theological areas I am learning about, that I would like to explore more thoroughly and become more educated about.

I am praying that this year will be fruitful in my own spiritual life, in the spiritual life of the young adults, in the spiritual life of Graffiti, and in the spiritual lives of all believers in New York City, the U.S., and all nations! I am praying that God would bless our efforts and bring people to us who do not know Him, that He would allow us to have an impact and to share Him with them, and that we would develop relationships that lead to others knowing Him and that bring Him glory! God has great things in store for those of us who believe and will follow Him this year--He has appointed us to the place He wants us and He will use us to bring Him glory and to tell others about Him. I am praying for my mission field (New York City).

Lastly, I am attending a retreat next weekend with Transitions, the young adult group from Brooklyn Tabernacle. This will be a great time to get to know more people as well as to take time out (hello, mornings!) praying, reading scripture, and enjoying God's blessings. Please pray that I use this opportunity to continue to develop my relationship with God (and others), and that God will reveal Himself to me as I pray specifically.

Genesis 32

Get Excited!

2009-08-21T04:16:00.000-07:00

There is so much to look forward to this year! Wednesday night a group of us got together and did some brainstorming for the young adults class/group next year--it was great! There were a lot of good ideas given, and now we have some excited people who will be involved and help in the leadership of the class/activities, etc. I can't wait!

God's been great at showing me through others this summer that he will lead and guide these ventures even when things aren't going as I think I would like. He shows me that people are not what will make these things succeed or fail, but only His work within the church and the young adults He's placed there. Now I need to focus on spending more time in prayer about what we're getting ready to do with this age group.

It's been a while since a post, but I will try to continue with updates about the young adult group here more often. Kick-off is September 6!

Psalm 19:1-14

A Month Non-Stop!

2009-07-02T21:02:00.001-07:00

I had a great trip to Kansas--very relaxing & great to see family. :) I came back to craziness non-stop! I am taking a summer course, & my time has just been completely consumed with my normal activities & the class. It allows me to see God in a way that I enjoy being reminded of--He is my focus & how I can stay organized!

In addition, I once again learn that peace & rest comes only from God--nowhere else in my search for a break do I find that.

Psalm 23

God of the Bridges

2009-05-17T03:51:00.000-07:00

One place I see God in this city every time I'm there is our bridges. Something fun to do here is walk over the bridges between Manhattan and Brooklyn. Looking over either one, it's absolutely beautiful to see the sun reflecting off the water, whether unabated or coming out of the clouds every now and then. Yesterday I walked the Manhattan bridge, and it was still cloudy. Seeing the sun peek out every once in a while reminds me that God is still clearly guiding us in times of trial or distraction. While the clouds may cover our view and make us lose sight, God is always guiding us and will continually call us back to Him. I am so thankful that He is faithful to us and will not let us go completely off track if we are paying attention and listening to His faithful guidance in our lives!

I have still been going through a period of learning, and a goal for me is to really come back to diligently studying the Bible and gleaning from it where God is speaking in my life. I know He has a plan for me and will lead me to it, but I am in a bit of a period of rest right now, which I pray I will take advantage of. This is a new place for me, and only God can navigate my understanding. He is ever faithful to me, and I strive to be faithful to Him. I'm looking forward to the growth that will come out of this time in my life.

In other news, I have become involved in Transitions, Brooklyn Tabernacle's young adult ministry. I am enjoying the fellowship and different worship, and especially meeting new people and making new friends. It's also very nice that it's so close to home. I like having new friends and finding a new group of Christians to interact with. Today Ruth and I are going to hear Ravi Zacharias there, and I'm hoping we'll run into some of our new friends and be able to sit with them and hang out with them afterwards.

Psalm 65

Now What?

2009-04-18T14:36:00.000-07:00

That's a question I've been asking myself a lot the past few weeks. As I've talked about previously, I'm definitely going through a time of questioning about what's up next for me and where I should be on the "path of life." I guess I'm wondering what God's calling on my life is and exactly how to go about it once I know!

As I was riding back from Boston on the bus today, the book of James came to mind. I realized that it is during trial that our faith is strengthened, but we have to be actively participating in strengthening that faith. This period of time has definitely been hard on me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically in some sense. My mindset needs to be focused on God and how He is going to shape me through this.

Numbers 6:22-27

Pesach

2009-04-07T19:18:00.001-07:00

Passover is tomorrow!!! :) And my seder is Friday! I'm excited to celebrate the Passover of the Jews and of us as Christians. It will be an interesting seder with people from different groups as well as some that have never been to a seder...

My dad is here; we are having a great time!

Newness

2009-03-31T19:21:00.001-07:00

This issue of trust, fear, and letting God lead me has been weighing heavy on my heart the past few days (if you can't tell). While I have been praying about it, I've actually struggled some with that as well--there are just times that you don't know what to pray! I need to talk to some friends and have others pray with me, but haven't had the chance to communicate what's going on with many people yet--that will happen.

As I was walking home today, this thought occurred to me: If I end up with a blank slate after this period of questioning, I don't want to be the one to write on it. I truly want God to be the writer of my future--that's harder than it sounds!

Jeremiah 29:11--He will guide me!

Confusion

2009-03-29T17:34:00.001-07:00

Now is a time in my life I am feeling a bit unsettled and uneasy. It affects my enitre attitude. As I ponder what possible causes for this state of mind is, one thing that bombards me is that I don't listen to my own advice. So much of what is making me feel this way can be attributed to situations and circumstances that I'm not even pretending to give to God. I think I'm going to figure them all out on my own. What did I just write in my last post? Do I ever learn?

God's trying to do something within me right now, and I don't know what it is, but I am not trusting Him enough to just let go of the situation. I'm trusting more in my own ideas, and that's not getting me anywhere. My lack of diligence in these areas of my life is making me an unproductive person, and affecting every aspect of my life.

Struggles are important for us to learn about God, about ourselves, and to adapt and change, as well as to reach others. I want to be open to what God is teaching me, to think more of others and less of myself, and to learn contentment with whatever. What is there to do but to dig into God's word (which is something that I must honestly say I have not been doing as well lately)? This is something I need to ask my accountability partners to check in with me about.

Through all things, I know that my God is my protection and my strength. However, this needs to be an acknowledgement of my whole self, not just through words. So many times I let my knowledge of God take over my spiritual life. God wants me to be broken and reduced to nothing without Him--will I respond to His call now or will I wait until my desolation becomes too much for me to bear? God's leading and direction needs to be evident in my life to all who see me, know me, speak with me. This will only happen when I fully and TRULY surrender my life to Him--all of it, every part. Why can I speak this concept but not act it out? Where do I turn for help but to God?

Part of my being broken is learning that a reliance on people can only help you so much. God has placed great people in my life who I trust and talk to about many things--but no one can change me but God. This is another concept I struggle to act out. I need to find my satisfaction and my contentment in God alone, and from there realize that it's due to His blessings on me that I can enjoy my family, my friends, my surroundings. True thankfulness needs to be evident, rather than taking His gifts for granted.

It's sometimes very hard for me to voice what I'm struggling with, but this is an issue that needs to be dealt with or it will continue until done so. I want to be open to what God is doing in my life!

Desperation

2009-03-26T17:27:00.001-07:00

(editor's note: copied directly from my other blog! it fits this one well...)

It's hard not to live in fear. Thinking about your life, fears you have come to the surface when thinking about your future, your present, your past--everyone has a fear of (at least one) something. The fact is, fear comes from not having control over what's going to happen. However, that control was never ours to begin with! I have found that trusting God is harder than just saying the words or quoting verses or even trying to change your mindset. Trusting God requires fear--you must fear God enough to face all fears you have. This doesn't come naturally. We like to push our fears to the background and avoid any thoughts that bring them to the forefront of our minds. Facing them causes a burden so overwhelming that there is nothing to do but to hand that burden over to someone else. That's what God has promised He will do for us.

My favorite verses in the Bible come from Proverbs 3:5-6, which says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Lately, as I think about my future and where I want to go (with school, work, etc.), I find more and more that this is a verse that is easy to come to my mind but so much harder to live out when I try to put it into practice. Transitioning (or not) into a possibly new or different way of life is something I feel led to, but many times the places I thought I would be transitioning to seem unavailable and I'm back to the beginning, searching for God's leading and calling on my life (isn't that where we should always be, really?). When we decide that our ideas and decisions are ultimately what we should rely on, we've lost the message of what these verses say: LEAN NOT ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING!

What comes next? Facing the fear of what lies ahead. Facing the fear of having to give up what I have in order to go where God is leading me and trust Him wholly. Facing the fear of changing what my life is and has been, and relying on God to know where He is calling me (and that I am not "calling" myself there). I find myself in this situation often, but still have to go through the same process over and over every time I come to that place of desperation where you feel that if you don't cry out to God you just might go crazy...

When I'm Down

2009-03-25T17:40:00.000-07:00

I have a pretty bad sinus infection today. I'm groggy, exhausted, achy, and congested. This is one of the worst bouts I've had! Feeling like I did made me realize that I'm not in charge of my ability to do things. When we're feeling great, we're so convinced that we determine how we feel (which of course, there are things we can do to affect that). It's in the times we don't feel our best that we realize that our health is a gift. I'm thankful that I usually feel well and can go about my normal daily activities.

Psalm 4:8

Graffiti and Yiddish!

2009-03-21T12:10:00.000-07:00

So I like to keep a separate blog about what I'm learning about God through my experiences... I feel like there's so much you can write and it's easier to read when it's somewhere else! Here in the city, I attend a church called Graffiti as well as synagogue. My culture kind of plays a big role in who I am... I will try as we approach Passover to write some longer posts on here with more information.

For now, God has been really teaching me patience as I wait to find out news about what I will be doing next year. 2 Timothy 1:7-12 really spoke to me as I went through this time.